Aarti
Any parent would feel terrible if they had to watch their daughter suffer at the hands of an abuser. It’s only natural that you’d want to step in and break up the couple. This, however, is easier said than done.
It also might not be the most secure option for her. Although it is human nature to want to lend a hand, try to keep your suggestions to a minimum. Your daughter needs to decide when she is ready to end things on her own. Try to get her to stop being a victim and start making changes instead. Please consider these five suggestions.
Resist the Urge to Step In
It is critical that your daughter learn to navigate her own life again. You should let her see that the relationship is toxic before you take drastic measures like breaking up with her.
Unless she is in imminent danger, letting her decide on her own terms is the safest course of action.
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She can become even more devoted to her lover if you try to force her hand too quickly. It’s common for women to view their boyfriends as a “us against the world” team. This strengthens her commitment to him and solidifies their bond. So, it’s crucial that she calls the final curtain.
Spend Time Listening
Make sure you pay close attention when your daughter discusses her boyfriend with you. Keep your judgements to yourself so that she can feel safe sharing her feelings with you. Be inquisitive and aware.
Listen to what she has to say without getting all up over it. But if your kid does not want to talk, you should not force her. Don’t give her advice unless she specifically asks for it. Don’t bring up her shortcomings either.
She may stop communicating with you if she thinks like you blame her for the bullying or judge her for continuing to remain with him.1 She may also be putting herself in danger by keeping the relationship a secret from you.
Support Her Decisions
Make it clear to your daughter that you support her in whatever she decides to do. Keep in mind how terrible it can be for women to leave a controlling boyfriend. She will need your love and encouragement as she goes through this challenging period.
You also need to understand that by giving her space to make her own choices, she is regaining pride in herself and becoming more independent. Keep in mind that a controlling lover can make her feel helpless. Therefore, you should avoid following suit. Show her that she is competent, powerful, and knowledgeable.
Help Her Find Time for Friends
Isolation from loved ones is a common feature of violent and bullying relationships. Abusers and bullies frequently cut off their victims’ contact with friends and family.
Invest some time in your relationship with her. The simple knowledge that she is not alone will go a long way towards giving her the strength to finally walk away from the relationship.
Rebuild Her Self-Esteem
The victim of bullying frequently feels helpless, confined, and insecure.1Do what you can to restore your daughter’s confidence to assist her overcome these negative emotions.
Also, coach her on how to be more forceful while fighting off negative tendencies like people-pleasing. And teach her how to deal with adversity in the future.
