Aarti
Whenever my wife and I are invited to speak at a marriage retreat, I always bring up an early argument or misunderstanding in our marriage. The upshot of the failure ended in a blow up where I left our home and wasn’t sure when I’d return back. We had no way of communicating with one another, and the atmosphere was too much for me to bear.
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Luckily, some of our close friends came to our apartment, waited for me to get back, and promised to stay until we were able to start communicating constructively and begin the process of working through it together.
5. Common conversation.
You’ve reached rock bottom. At this level, there isn’t much sharing going on. These are the types of talks one has with everyone, including complete strangers. Typical small talk: “How are you?” “The weather is great today.” This is not a deep level, but it does serve a purpose.
4. Nightly news.
You tell them what you know about a subject, such as your day or the kids. Your discussion resembles a newscast in that it focuses mostly on reporting the facts. You’ve gone just beyond the ordinary to find common ground, but you can’t remain here.
Talking about one’s day at the office, one’s children, one’s supper plans, or one’s reaction to anything posted on social media are all examples. Much of our conversational time was spent here. We would stray slightly from the norm of conversation.
3. Cautious disclosure.
Your thoughts, ideas, and evaluations are shared with care. There are parts of you that you show, but not all. As you talk, you keep a tight eye on your partner so you may cut off any further discourse if your partner shows any signs of questioning or rejection. You may bring up the idea that the big vacation you’ve been planning may not be the greatest thing right now since you want to spend more time golfing or fishing with the guys, or that you want to spend the next holiday with your family. Here is where we stalled and couldn’t move forward. Our fear of failure or the desire to avoid discomfort caused us to avoid taking any chances.
2. High-risk/High-reward talks.
The deed is now done. When people open up like this, feelings get hurt. But you must do this. If you do not work on your marriage, it will not progress. Here is where you tell your wife things she might not like or that might cause her pain, including details about yourself, your spouse, your marriage, and your life. This could be anything from wishing to rethink your approach to child discipline to lamenting the family’s financial predicament due to a lack of a household budget.
1. Truth-in-love talks.
Here is when you lay all your cards on the table and let your wife know exactly where you stand on everything. Exposing one’s true self. To be vulnerable is to reveal your innermost thoughts and feelings, including your doubts, worries, insecurities, and problems.
This involves being open and honest with your wife about the difficult emotions you’re experiencing. You and your wife have reached the point of complete openness. If she has picked up any bad behaviors, you can tell her about them openly and without judgment. You can confide in her if you’re worried about the state of your career or your family life. You both believe that you look out for each other’s best interests and are dedicated to working through any issues that may arise through open communication. Get the Q & U app for conversation starters to use in your relationship.
