Aarti
It can hurt if your ex has returned to the dating scene and you keep running into them on dating apps. When friends tell you that your ex is dating someone else, it might be difficult to process the information. Feeling blue is very normal. It hurts to hear about, even if you’ve already started dating, and it can make you question whether or not you should start dating again if you haven’t in a while.
Acknowledge What You Feel
To your mental health, it is preferable to acknowledge and deal with feelings of longing and pain rather than brush them aside and move on. Relax and let your thoughts and emotions settle. Problems arise when people try to ignore upsetting emotions and information rather than process them. Stress is increased by avoidant coping methods.
studies looking at avoidant coping strategies revealed that resignation and withdrawal, two passive avoidant coping strategies, led to a number of negative effects. Stress, anxiety disorders, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) were among the ill effects.
Some people feel humiliated when their romantic partner moves on to someone else. Either that, or they get their anger out on their ex and start pointing fingers. Recognising and processing these emotions is more productive than ignoring them. Empathy for both yourself and your ex can help you see the situation more clearly, but you should be careful not to ignore your own emotions.
Show Yourself Some Compassion
You should be quick and polite if you run into your ex-partner with your new significant other. It’s awkward no matter whose idea it was to end the relationship or get a divorce. In fact, studies have shown that keeping in touch with an ex can cause emotional pain.2 More than a hundred people who had recently split up were evaluated over the course of five months.
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In addition to being upset, you may return home and begin evaluating yourself against the new potential partner. Your sense of self-worth may suffer. It’s possible that after an unanticipated reunion, you’ll find your ex more appealing than ever. Separating could turn out to be something you come to regret. You could think of reconciling.
Assess If You’re Ready to Date
People have varying degrees of success and durations of healing. If the breakup was recent and you’re still feeling down, be kind to yourself. Everyone deals with heartbreak in their own way.
Here are some warning signals that you might not be in a good place emotionally to start dating:
Strategies for Moving Forward
If your ex starts dating again, protecting your emotional and physical health means avoiding unhealthy coping techniques like binge drinking. Your ex may still miss you and be hurt by the breakup, even if they’re seeing someone else. Plus, your value and worth are not based on what they think, do, or don’t do to you. You were born with it.
Your mental health and daily routine may take a serious hit if you find out your ex is dating again. The emotional and practical toll of a breakup can be substantial. Get in touch with loved ones who can lend an objective ear or at least a comforting embrace. Neurotransmitters called endorphins are released during a hug, making us feel happier and more content.
A trained therapist can provide a safe place to talk about your feelings of loss and disappointment after your ex-partner moves on. To help you change your perspective, they may suggest some reframing strategies. Psychodynamic therapy, art therapy, brainspotting, compassion-focused therapy, internal family systems (IFS), narrative therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR), and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), among others, may be useful following a breakup.
