How to Tell Someone You Have Feelings for Them

Perhaps you’ve developed romantic feelings for a coworker or neighbor. You might even be ready to inform that person about your changed feelings, but there are a lot of things to think about before you do.

It’s natural to feel connected to someone you work or socialize with. Perhaps one day it will dawn on you that you are giving this person more of your thoughts than you would (or should) with a casual friend. Or perhaps you’ve come to terms with the fact that your feelings for this person have evolved into something more serious over time.

Figure Out Your Real Feelings

It’s common to misjudge how close you are to someone. Do we regard them as a true friend would? Or is there another way? Take some time to think about the many alternatives and gauge your emotions accordingly.

Is it love at first sight? You may be smitten if your sentiments developed rapidly, you see this person as wonderful, and you feel numb or confused around them. Ask yourself if you’re portraying this individual accurately. Is it feasible to have a good relationship with them?

Is it only a matter of chemistry in bed? Perhaps your feelings for this individual grew stronger as you spent more time with them. Consider whether you’re looking for a quick fling, a committed relationship, or something else entirely.

Consider the Type of Relationship You Have Now

Consider the nature of the connection you share with this person at the present time. Whether you and the person you have emotions for are close friends, coworkers, exes, or casual dating partners, you should think about the potential consequences before coming out to them.

Close Friends

In reality, friendship is an integral part of healthy love partnerships. One study looked at unmarried couples who placed a premium on their friendship. Sexual satisfaction and dedication were shown to be particularly high in friendship-based relationships.

Keep in mind that if this special someone does not share your thoughts, your friendship may be impacted once you reveal your wish to broaden it. One must mentally and emotionally ready oneself for this result.

Co-Workers

It’s important to learn the rules of dating within the workplace, as some companies have strict policies against it. If so, follow established procedures. Before admitting your feelings for a coworker, you should weigh the repercussions. What if they share your sentiments? If they don’t, then what?

Is it possible that your confession could make working together awkward and increase pressure at the office? Think about the future of your career in the event of a split as well. This will show you whether or not you should continue pursuing a love connection.

What to Say to Someone You Have Feelings For

Assuming they are not currently involved with someone else, you should make your feelings known and express your want to spend more time with this individual. “Don’t avoid telling someone that you have feelings for them because avoidance begets avoidance,” says Dr. Amy E. Keller, PsyD, a marital and family therapist. One vote per person. Don’t take away the other person’s vote just because you think a connection is unlikely.

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Get some practice with different scripts until you feel confident reading one. Maintain sincerity, honesty, and frankness. Depending on the context, you could say something like, “We’ve known one other for a long time. My feelings for you have evolved beyond the platonic, though. It’s fine if you don’t agree, but I needed to tell you.

How to Cope If They Don’t Feel the Same Way

Reframing the circumstance favorably can help reduce the damaging effects of this type of rejection. You’re not on the same page, which is unhealthy because you should both want the same things. You came out and admitted your affections for another person. If your feelings weren’t returned, you should still give yourself credit for being honest and courageous.

You can choose from a variety of helpful strategies, such as: