Aarti
Arguments are a normal part of any relationship. Conflict is not problematic in and of itself, but the way it is managed may either bring people closer together or drive them further apart. Disagreements, misunderstandings, and ineffective communication can either drive a wedge between two people or serve as a stepping stone to a more fulfilling relationship and a brighter future.
What Is Healthy Communication?
The key to a happy relationship is open and honest communication. The participants typically take turns talking and being spoken to. When communicating effectively, both parties should be fully invested in the conversation. Both parties are self-aware of their behavior during the exchange.
If you’re the one doing the talking, for instance, you can use body language and eye contact to show that you’re paying attention. If you are the listener, you are open to hearing what the speaker is saying and not cutting them off from finishing a sentence or focusing your attention on what you’re going to say next.
The Importance of Healthy Communication
Conflict resolution between partners is highly dependent on effective communication. If you can keep the lines of communication open, you can probably work out your differences and go on. In the long run, this can be beneficial to your connection.
Naturally, the healthiest method of communication differs from one circumstance to the next. It may be necessary to be more blunt when communicating with someone if they stop responding to your attempts at subtlety when a major issue is at stake. However, a method based on love, forgiveness, and affirmation can be useful for solving everyday problems in relationships.
Effective Communication Tips for Conflicts
Remember these suggestions on effective communication the next time you’re trying to resolve a disagreement. Let me explain.
Stay Focused
When confronting a present problem, it can be tempting to bring up a similar, seemingly resolved problem from the past. While you’re in the midst of resolving one dispute, it may seem expedient or even important to discuss everything that’s upsetting you.
Unfortunately, this method sometimes obscures the issue, making it more difficult to reach a common understanding and a resolution. It may add unnecessary effort to the conversation and maybe cause some confusion. Avoid bringing up anything that can trigger bad feelings. Focus on the here and now, on sharing and comprehending feelings, and on working together to find a resolution.
You may improve your communication skills and your ability to be present in general by practicing mindfulness meditation.
Listen Carefully
In reality, when the other person stops talking, most people’s minds immediately jump to what they want to say next, even if they seem to be listening. Take note of whether or not you do this the next time you’re having a conversation.
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True and fruitful communication involves two-way interaction. Even if it’s hard, try to focus on what your spouse is saying. Keep your mouth shut. Stop being defensive. Simply listen to what they are saying and repeat it back to show that you understand. This will help you connect with them on a deeper level, making them more receptive to what you have to say.
Try to See Their Point of View
Most of us want to be heard and understood in times of conflict. In an effort to persuade the other person, we often engage in lengthy discussions about our perspective. This is natural, but it can backfire if we prioritize our personal need to be understood above all else. But if everyone does this all the time, no one’s feelings of being understood or valued would ever improve.
Respond to Criticism With Empathy
It’s human nature to feel attacked and respond defensively when receiving criticism. Despite the fact that criticism is unpleasant to hear and is sometimes exaggerated or tainted by the other person’s emotions, it is crucial to hear the other person out and reply with compassion. Also, try to find the truth in what they’re saying, since that can prove useful.
Own What’s Yours
Taking on one’s own responsibilities is a virtue, not a flaw. Effective communication entails acknowledging when you’re incorrect. Look for and own up to your part of the conflict if you and your partner are both at fault (as is generally the case). It demonstrates maturity, calms the situation down, and sets a positive example. It usually prompts the other person to reply in kind, which brings you both closer to a resolution.
Use ‘I’ Messages
Instead of stating things like, “You really messed up here,” try starting sentences with “I.” get free to use I statements such as “I feel frustrated when this happens.” This method is less accusatory, provokes less defensiveness, and facilitates understanding of the other person’s position as opposed to making them feel attacked.
Look for Compromise
Instead than trying to “win” the disagreement, look for solutions that meet everybody’s needs—either through compromise or a new innovative idea that gives you both what you want most. This approach is more productive than trying to satisfy someone’s needs at the expense of another. Finding a middle ground where everyone involved is satisfied is a sign of healthy communication.
Take a Time-Out
When emotions run high, it might be next to impossible to have a civil conversation that doesn’t end in a physical altercation. It’s fine to take a break from a talk if you or your spouse are becoming too upset to be useful or displaying damaging communication patterns.
Communication in a Long-Distance Relationship
One study identified significant distinctions between the ways in which couples who live close together and those in long-distance relationships communicate with one another. Relationship partners who are separated by time or distance:
- increased their use of teleconferencing, telephoning, and texting
- hoped for a quicker response time from their partner by phone and text
- happiness in relationships increased as texting became more frequent and reciprocal7
- It’s important for both people in a long-distance relationship to feel that they can talk to each other whenever they want.
It may not be the best idea to type out your entire train of thought via text message when dealing with a disagreement on the other side of the country. This can cause confusion and prevents your partner from responding spontaneously.
Compared to texting or emailing, the intimacy offered by audio and visual mediums can be far greater.8 While texts are fine for brief checks in, phone calls or video chats are preferable for more in-depth conversations.
