Aarti
Perhaps you’ve developed romantic feelings for a coworker or neighbour. You may even be to the point where you want to tell that person about your feelings, but there are a lot of things to think about before you do.
Close relationships with coworkers and friends are common. Perhaps it dawns on you one day that you’re giving this individual more mental space than you would a casual acquaintance. Or perhaps you’ve come to terms with the fact that your feelings for this person have grown more than platonic over time.
Figure Out Your Real Feelings
It’s common to misjudge how close you are to someone. How much do we value them as a true friend? Can it be done otherwise? Take some time to think about the many alternatives and gauge your emotions accordingly.
Is there love there? You may be smitten if your feelings for this person come on suddenly, you view them as perfect, and you feel like you can’t think straight. Think about whether or not your impression of this person is accurate. Is it feasible to have a good relationship with them?
Do you share a sexual and/or physical attraction? Perhaps your feelings for this individual grew stronger as you spent more time with them. Consider whether you’re looking for an intense one-night stand, a committed relationship, or something else entirely.
Consider the Type of Relationship You Have Now
Consider the nature of the connection you share with this person at the present time. Whether you and the person you have emotions for are close friends, coworkers, exes, or casual dating partners, you should think about the potential consequences before coming out to them.
Close Friends
Both trust and shared pleasure in each other’s company, hallmarks of every healthy friendship, are already present in your connection as close friends. The fact that friendship is so central to their relationship is also encouraging.
In reality, friendship is an essential ingredient for happy couples. One study1 looked at unmarried partners who placed a premium on their friendship. Sexual satisfaction and dedication were shown to be particularly high in friendship-based relationships.
Co-Workers
It’s important to learn the rules of dating within the workplace, as some companies have strict policies against it. Then, follow all established procedures. Before admitting your feelings for a coworker, you should weigh the repercussions. But what if they share your sentiments? But supposing they don’t?
Exes
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Most breakups occur for the best of reasons. Assuming it was just terrible timing or circumstance, you might be looking to restart things. If you and your ex are both now single and you wish to confess your affections to each other, you should carefully assess whether you are returning to a toxic dynamic. Do you tend to overemphasise the good? Do you seem to be blocking off painful recollections?
Casual Dating Partners
Perhaps you’re on a date and enjoying some passionate sex. Is this the type of relationship you want, or have you settled for it? How would your desire for something else influence our current relationship?
What to Say to Someone You Have Feelings For
Assuming they are not already in a relationship, you should express your feelings and your desire for more involvement with this person. “Don’t avoid telling someone that you have feelings for them because avoidance begets avoidance,” says Dr. Amy E. Keller, PsyD, a marital and family therapist. Individuals have a single vote. Don’t take away the other person’s vote just because you think a connection is unlikely.
How to Cope If They Don’t Feel the Same Way
that examined common reactions to rejection in healthy young to middle-aged people provides further evidence that adult rejection in romantic relationships is a stressful life event that can result in feelings of melancholy, loss of appetite, and depression.
Negative emotions to this sort of rejection can be mitigated by adopting a more optimistic frame of mind. You’re not on the same page, which is unhealthy because you should both want the same things. You came out and admitted your affections for another person. If your feelings weren’t returned, you should still give yourself credit for being honest and courageous.
