Aarti
The concept of a best friend forever, or BFF, is widely accepted among young people today, especially among teenage ladies. However, for many young women, the prospect of making lifelong friends is more fairy tale than reality.
In addition, the concept of a best friend has become a utopian ideal in which the two people are inseparable, giddy, and never at odds with one another. They’re way more awesome if they have a lot of best friends.
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As a result, a lot of young women give in to the peer pressure to find a best friend and become caught up in the trap of trying to satisfy everyone. It’s bad for your health, and it can lead to bullying and exclusion.
Perfect Friendships Are a Myth
Every friendship has its flaws. At some point in every female friendship, one of the friends will become irritated by something the other has said or done. If it’s a sincere friend, she won’t be offended if she tells her how she really feels.
In fact, differences of opinion can help bring people even closer together. Sometimes your daughter will have to overlook the minor things that her friends do that annoy her. She must refrain from trying to alter her pals’ personalities.
“Yo-Yo” Friendships Are Unhealthy
These are the girls who treat your daughter like royalty for a few months, just to abandon her like a hot rock. The two girls suddenly stopped talking to each other.
However, the shift remains a mystery. The other girl seemed to have forgotten about your kid until she reappears out of the blue. The name “yo-yo” was originally used to describe people with this kind of unstable mood swings.
These people have friends just when it suits them, and your friendship with them will never go deeper than the surface. You should forewarn your daughter to avoid such friends because of the negative influence they might have on her.
Sometimes You Will Be Left Out
There will be instances when your daughter is left out because someone is trying to intimidate or bully her. Sometimes it’s an oversight and your kid wasn’t invited because of a lack of room, but other times it’s because the host simply forgot to include her.
It’s hardly the end of the world, though. Teach your kiddo that she can have a good time without waiting to be invited. Instead, tell her she should extend the invitation the next time around.
Friendships Break Up
Tell your daughter that “best friends forever” is an exception rather than the rule. It’s a lot like going on a date. Relationships between friends can also end. When friendships do fail, it’s typically because trust was violated in some way.
Tell your daughter that she should look at this as a chance to open up to the next excellent friend in her life, rather than dwelling on what might have been. Admit that your kid is feeling sad, but reassure her that her feelings won’t last forever. A new, close buddy will enter her life soon.
Exclusivity Is Unhealthy
Expecting a friendship to be steady through its ups and downs is unhealthy. It’s important to reassure your daughter that it’s normal for her best friend to have plans that prevent them from hanging out all the time. It’s also possible that she’s too busy at some times.
It’s painful either way to spend less time with someone you care about, but it’s rarely about you. Making it personal almost always escalates the situation.
Boyfriends Can Get in the Way
Many young women make the error of abandoning their friends in favour of a new boyfriend. A healthy dating relationship, like her friendships, requires her to spend time apart from her partner.
If her lover is always demanding her attention, that’s a major red flag. A red flag of dating abuse is when the abuser attempts to monopolise and control your daughter’s time. Make sure your daughter understands the importance of maintaining a healthy balance between her connections with her friends and her partner. Make sure she is aware of the warning signs of a controlling boyfriend before she gets involved with one.
Comparisons Are Unhealthy
Girls frequently draw parallels between their friendships and those shown in media. It’s important to reassure your kid that the stories she’s reading are just that: stories. They are also impossible to achieve. Similarly, she should not draw any conclusions about the quality of other people’s connections based on what she sees on social networking sites like Instagram and Twitter.
Sometimes Friends Dislike Each Other
Having friends from a variety of social groups is beneficial to one’s health and has been shown to reduce the likelihood of being bullied.3 Some of your daughter’s friends may share common interests with her, while others may be athletes, musicians, or long-time acquaintances from school or church.
But what she might not realise is that having friendships with several people does not guarantee that they would get along. Advise her not to be so stubborn about it. It’s normal to have a wide variety of social circles. On the other hand, she needs to keep an eye out for anyone who might be bullying, teasing, or otherwise mistreating one of her pals.
It’s okay if her friend doesn’t get along with someone, but that’s no excuse for bullying. In the event that your daughter sees bullying among her peers, it is important that she has the resources necessary to intervene. She should never watch as a friend is bullied by anyone.
Some Friends Aren’t Really Friends
You should prepare your daughter for the day when she realises that one of her friendships is unbalanced. This truth will pain her, but it should serve as a reminder that she may make place in her life for happier friendships if she is willing to let go.
Controlling Friends Aren’t Friends
Instill in your daughter the confidence to speak up for what she thinks is right. She enters a new social environment as she enters middle school, where cliques and mean girls emerge from the shadows.
Your daughter will be better able to resist the peer pressure to conform if she is secure in who she is as an individual. It’s human nature to seek acceptance and popularity; just don’t let that pursuit lead you into the hands of others.
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Prepare your daughter to resist the lure of temptation. Tell her that being herself is more important than being well-liked. Also, instruct her in recognising manipulative companions.
Friendships Take Work
It’s a common misconception among young women that they can maintain their connections just through texting and the like. Remind your daughter that having a virtual connection with someone through social media like Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat is not the same as having a genuine friendship with that person.
Friendships Are Worth the Effort
It’s possible that your daughter could be harmed by one of her pals. Actually, nobody is. A good friend, however, is worth the work she puts in. She’ll have to put in some serious effort and time.
Furthermore, things could become a bit chaotic as we go. But if she can resolve the differences that arise, she may end up with something worthwhile. Furthermore, there will be a great deal of enjoyment in the interim.
