Aarti
As the son of a mother who was just sixteen years old, I spent my formative years in a dangerous Miami neighborhood. Among the many hardships I endured as a child growing up without a father—not having him watch my wrestling, football, basketball, or baseball games—was the fact that he never taught me how to swim. Although it may be difficult to believe, I am not referring to that type of swimming. Actually, I’m not even referring to swimming when I say that. All men should be familiar with these abilities.
In a way, they are analogous to the various swimming strokes. The same goes for passing them on: if our dads didn’t teach them to us, find another man you can trust and respect to teach them to us. Not until I was 33 years old did I encounter a man like him. My 16-year marriage ended, subsequent relationships fizzled out, and money problems ensued because of that delay. Even if no one has instructed you thus far, there is still time. Every man should be proficient in these four areas.
1. The Backstroke
Accepting and growing from one’s prior experiences—including hurts, habits, and hangups—is something every man must do. Though it sheds light on who we are as men, our history does not absolve us of responsibility for our actions in the here and now or in the future. Legend has it that a man’s fate is sealed if he refuses to reflect on and grow from his mistakes. Mastering the backstroke will save you from having to live through the mistakes of the past.
2. The Butterfly Stroke
One of man’s primary responsibilities is to seek for, embrace, and fulfill his unique calling in this world. Though all men begin their lives as caterpillars, it was never meant for them to spend eternity clinging to their bellies. Because flying, not crawling, was his destiny and design, he was thought to metamorphose into a butterfly. However, mastering the butterfly stroke requires deliberate practice rather than passive observation.
3. The Breast Stroke
It is a man’s duty to figure out how to win his wife’s heart. This is an area where many guys have felt they are just barely surviving. Whether you’re planning to get married or not, it’s important for men to learn not just how to love women, but also how their hearts function.
4. The Freestyle Stroke
Men everywhere need to master the art of open, honest communication with their kids. Conquering a woman’s heart is one thing, but winning over a child’s is an entirely different ballgame. For a father to be an effective healer and a safe haven for his children, he must master the art of encouraging open communication about difficult emotions.
