Aarti
There is a delicate balance between being faithful and being idiotic, according to a friend of mine. Why then is there a distinction? Faith, in my view, is moving forward with a change even when the outcome is unclear. And it’s ridiculous to expect your life to improve when you don’t even try to alter anything.
In my opinion, there are five pitfalls that no guy can afford to fall into if he wants to be a loyal man and not an idiot. Despite my moniker as “The Foolish Five,” we are all naive enough to fall for their traps. I will explain.
The first is pride.
This is the pitfall of thinking we can get along without other people’s assistance. We think we’re capable of handling everything on our own. “I got this” is a common expression among us. “I am already aware of that.” “It is my decision if it is to be.” In reality, a man’s strength is directly proportional to the quantity of stronger guys he associates with; if you disagree, just ask a weight lifter.
The second trap is the commitment trap, or should I say the lack of commitment.
We fall into this pitfall when we stop trying and quit when things become difficult or don’t meet our expectations. It can be something small, but more often than not it’s something major, like giving up on our marriage, our relationship with a parent from whom we’ve grown apart, or our goals.
The third trap is ignorance.
On the surface, ignorance does not necessarily constitute a bad thing; yet, there is a distinction between knowing nothing and understanding exactly what one does not know. “Unconscious incompetence” is what I mean here. Avoid falling into this trap by being honest about your ignorance and asking clarifying questions instead of acting as though you know something when you don’t. “The only dumb question is the one you don’t ask; because if you don’t ask, you’re still dumb because you still don’t know.” I tell my students this all the time.
The fourth man trap is laziness.
When we’re ignorant, we either don’t know or act as if we do, but when we’re lazy, we ignore our knowledge and do nothing because “I just don’t feel like it.” Refusing to get up and move about is what it is. Doing nothing until one “feels like it” is a surefire recipe for failure. One wise man told me, “Do what you have to do, so you can eventually do what you want to do.” That was Denzel Washington, an Oscar-winning actor.
And finally, the last trap is the apathy trap.
The “I don’t care” mentality is apathy in action. It happens when we fail to prioritize our own needs to the point where we seek counseling to address past hurts, fail to honor our wives and understand their hearts, neglect our children, spend too much time playing video games or watching sports, or watch pornographic media.
