Aarti
`He’s a wonderful man, my hubby. He is gentle and modest. He is naturally welcoming and enjoys helping those in his immediate vicinity. Plus, he rarely has any gripes. However, this results in him not communicating his needs and wishes to me very often. So it’s required some guesswork on my behalf to comprehend what he wants from me. After almost nine years of marriage, I think I’ve started to figure things out!
Can you name the specific things he expects you to do for him? Perhaps he doesn’t show his feelings openly. Perhaps he has a loud voice but has trouble articulating his thoughts. I talked to several different pairs of people and found some recurring patterns. Of course, every man is different, but in general, here are the top five things your spouse really wants from you.
1. Recreational Companionship
Recreational intimacy is a subset of romantic closeness. One of the best ways for men to bond is via competitive sports. There are no negative feelings involved—just a healthy and joyful sense of competition. Take part in a game or activity that you both like on your next date.
2. Trust
Trust is an essential component of any close connection. He hopes to gain your confidence that he can make sound judgments and stand on equal footing with you. I have a bad habit of lecturing my husband as if I were more knowledgeable than he was. He was the youngest of his family’s children, whereas I was the oldest of my brothers. This dynamic gives him the impression that I don’t trust him, but I’m working on it.
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I have started asking him for his advice on the topics I’m working on, and I understand exactly how crucial his strategic contribution is. It’s common for wives to poke holes in their husband’s rationale and methodology, forcing him to defend his actions. All he cares about is whether or not you believe his method has a chance of success.
3. Sexual Fulfillment
This is an area where a lot of spouses feel they’re falling short. If your husband isn’t getting the sexual satisfaction you want from them, my advice is to focus on your own sexual satisfaction instead. In the long run, this will make their husbands happier. You can’t always go out of your way to help other people. Both people would feel happier if they can enjoy themselves sexually.
4. Appreciation
The things your husband does for you, like bringing out the trash, switching out light bulbs, and mowing the yard, that you may take for granted are very important to show your appreciation for. Expressing your appreciation for him in this way would mean a lot to him. (Your husband may even pitch in more if he knows he is valued.)
5. Space
Sometimes your guy needs some space, just like moms need time alone. He would benefit much from having an entire day or at least several hours to himself. He requires an environment free of obligations to others. You may both benefit from this.
