Aarti
You might think this is really insane. When you argue with your wife, you should do it with purpose. I’m not advocating actively seeking out disagreements. You’re under no obligation to find pleasure in it. (To be honest, there would likely be another issue if you found enjoyment in confrontation.) What I mean is that you should have a plan in place before you start one.
There is a common understanding of the significance of objectives among psychologists, coaches and athletes, educators and administrators, and even the Marines. Be aware of your destination. The first step is to define your goals. Anything can be altered by it. So what if you and your wife were to get into an argument? Going out of a fight as fast as possible feels like the ultimate aim a lot of the time. I understand. There are times when it’s the best way to try to calm things down, and you also don’t want it to endure forever. However, there are a number of alternative aims that might benefit your marriage before, during, and after a disagreement.
1. Move toward your wife. Don’t keep score.
Because conflict always centers on something that is personal, it drives a wedge between us. An argument, an injury, or conflicting goals. Regardless of the difficulty, you should strive to get closer to your wife. The following is a tweet: One unhealthy approach to arguing is to keep score of each side’s arguments over the course of twelve rounds. A more effective approach is to maintain an attitude of unwavering determination to keep us connected. At least not right now. No, weariness. No one’s children. Not sexually explicit. Regarding our holiday spot for this year, we have no disagreements. I have no problem being with you. Can you tell the two? Your focus should be on finding a solution, not on getting your point over, if you’re in a fight with your wife and want to draw closer to her no matter what. Or getting higher scores.
2. Do and say what will benefit her. Don’t try to get her to change.
In our pursuit of personal gain, we reveal too much about our partners. With your behavior like this, you’re bringing nothing but misery into my life! When we argue, it’s usually because we want the other person to realize how unfair and damaging they are. While this may not always be incorrect, there is an improved objective. When you’re in a fight with your wife, try to put her needs before your own. What is the most beneficial thing she can hear? At times, that is the uncompromising reality. But when you give it as a life-sustaining aid instead of a defensive strike, it sounds quite different. When the two of you are at odds, what is it that your wife requires of you? Give that a go instead of focusing on short-term gratification. If you want your wife to feel she’s not alone, you might end up staying involved in the argument for longer. On the other hand, by getting to the heart of the matter, you may discover that the discussion improves and progresses to a more profound level.
3. Repair a breach. Don’t aggravate old wounds.
As a long-standing observation by medical professionals, the presence of calcium deposits at the site of a bone fracture enhances the healing process. If you view disagreements as cracks in your relationship, then you should strive to mend those cracks. During intense arguments, it’s easy to let out even more pent-up frustrations. Rather than asking, “What more can I say to support my argument?” shift your focus to mending the rift. That is not always the same as giving up. For wounds to heal, it is common to have to scrape and clean them painfully. Instead of purposefully pursuing retaliation, focus on healing.
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The idea isn’t as far-fetched as it seems. When you and your wife are at odds, remembering these objectives might help you stay on track toward wellness, no matter how bad things become.
