Aarti
We all really need some romance in this age of sweatpants and working from home (often next to our lover). Even without the quarantine of 2020, partnerships can become ordinary and the honeymoon period can seem like a long-gone memory that will never come back.
However, those initial months or years of eagerness to settle down are normal, according to specialists Susan Winter, Elizabeth Overstreet, and Dr. Terri Orbuch. Your relationship becoming calmer and less of a roller coaster as time goes on is not necessarily a bad thing. This is referred to by Dr. Orbuch as “companionate love, which is the love that keeps people together.”
Talk It Out
Nothing kills the romance quite like discussing something to death, but if you and your partner are having trouble, talking about what you both miss and how you feel about the relationship can help a lot. Dr. Orbuch advises discussing your romantic expectations with your partner and listening to their needs and wants. She emphasises the significance of couples realising “they have control and the power to add romance, passion, and excitement to their relationship.”
Start Small
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Overstreet asserts that it’s crucial to “celebrate the minutes of the moments of the hour.” If it’s important to you, kiss each other before and after your day, especially if that custom has been neglected. Set aside some time that is free from technology to share with each other some things you are thankful for or things you like about them. Make a surprise call in the middle of the day, send a flirtatious text, or leave your lover a romantic or suggestive note. Winter continues, “Acknowledgement and gratitude are the main glue that keep marriages happy. Without needing to arrange a trip to Paris or Rome, these seemingly insignificant actions can have a significant romantic impact and deepen your relationship.
Learn Your Love Languages
The preferred methods we communicate and receive love are known as love languages. Now would be a good moment to bring up your partner’s chosen love language if you don’t already speak it well. Understanding what makes your partner feel loved—whether it’s words of affirmation, physical touch, presents, deeds of service, or quality time—can help you create a romantic environment. Similar to this, being aware of how your partner prefers to show you their love and affection (which isn’t always the same as how they prefer to be loved) might help you spot when they’re trying to connect.
Reminisce
According to Overstreet, remembering delicate, sensual, or sweet situations might promote closer communication between partners. Bring out a particularly romantic Valentine’s Day card your partner gave you years ago, or go at pictures from your honeymoon or other trips. Rekindling that attraction and jolting you out of your routine (and your sweatpants!) can happen when you take the time to reflect on your romantic experiences together.
Recreate Romantic Moments
To take things a step further, try acting out some of your most passionate moments together rather than just remembering them. Reliving a first date or going back to the location where you first met might bring back the initial sense of romance and magic, according to Winter. It could spark a flood of pleasant memories. And romance may result from those recollections.
Prioritize Your Partner
As time passes, it’s simple to become overwhelmed with work, kids, daily stressors, or even wedding plans, but there is nothing wrong with putting your partner’s needs first. In actuality, it’s crucial. Normalise coming to your partner first and giving them attention when they return from work and the kids are yelling. It is not self-serving in any way. “Your relationship is the foundation,” Overstreet claims. It’s beneficial for children to observe their parents interacting, if they are observing. It will also serve as a reminder to you and your spouse that, despite the craziness, you still have a romantic relationship.
Stay True to Yourself
Even if it can be important, doing things for your lover isn’t the only way to rekindle romance. It’s also crucial to concentrate on your interests and self. Although it’s simple to lose yourself in a relationship, it’s crucial to develop your own hobbies. According to Overstreet, doing so “creates mystery, makes you feel good, and you bring that energy back to the relationship.”
Work on Yourself
In a similar line, giving yourself time and love is just as crucial to keeping a good relationship as focusing on your partner’s connection with you. Working on your personal growth and development will only help the basis of your love because your relationship can only be as grounded and stable as you are. You’re far more inclined to look for love if you feel beautiful and confident in your own skin, whether it involves inner healing, counselling, further education, changing your mindset, or working on your physical health.
Create a Relationship Bucket List
Make a list of things you want to accomplish together during the upcoming year in order to shake up the routine. Perhaps it’s learning to surf, going on a road trip, or skydiving. Maybe it’s gardening or watching Bridgerton together. Whatever you two choose to try as a pair is included in the products. Even the simple act of writing the list down can be sexy, hilarious, and romantic. Whether you cross off every thing or not, it might help you get to know one another better by revealing your innermost desires.
Bring Back the Adventure
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Plan dates that are a little risky if the thrill is what you’re missing. According to Winter, one of the challenges of long-term relationships is that “in order to have stability, you give up adventure and spontaneity.” Reviving the experience might also heighten the romance. She offers suggestions like tango lessons, hot air balloon rides, rock climbing, rafting, and even trapeze lessons. Anything a little wacky and spooky to rekindle the excitement and push you both outside of your comfort zones is a fantastic place to start. In addition to rafting, you can organise a treasure hunt for your companion that might be just as thrilling. The final reward will be you, and the clues may serve as romantic mementos of times you’ve spent together.
