Aarti
If we go into dating blind, it can be a terrible experience. Many people get caught in destructive ruts, repeating phrases like:
“It’s fun at first, but I feel like I’m wasting my time in the end.”
I’m ready to find a partner and start a family. For some reason, it never works out for me.”I love going on casual dates. However, as things start to get truly serious, I begin to panic and withdraw.
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If you are ready to invest in some introspection, you may find that overcoming challenges like these becomes less of a struggle. If you’re sick of going on dates that never amount to anything, you should probably go on a date with yourself first before looking for love with anybody else.
Here are three ways spending time on self-discovery might improve your romantic prospects.
1. Discover Your Definition of Love
To date with focus and purpose, you need to know what you want and, more significantly, what you can offer a potential partner. It’s unfortunate that people often fail to fully understand why they attract a certain type of partner or relationship dynamic.
For example, a study published in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy describes how individuals can fall into unhealthy relationship patterns because of erroneous “relationship cognitions” (such as the belief in unconditional love, tolerance for manipulation, etc.) formed in early adulthood.
By investing in self-awareness and taking the time to find solitary happiness, you can avoid the dangerous slope of learning the hard way what you want.
The first step on this path is to treat yourself to a movie, a play, supper, or even a picnic on your own. Joining groups comprised of like-minded individuals can also aid in the process of getting to know oneself better. Clubs of this type could consist of readers, movie buffs, culinary bloggers, etc.
If you know what makes you happy and what kind of individuals you tend to be drawn to, you’ll be more prepared to navigate the tricky waters of love relationships. You’ll be less likely to settle for the first person you meet out of desperation and more likely to find someone who’s a good fit for you.
2. Do Not Be an Escapist
The lack of noise from the outside world is a major challenge when you’re on your own. In this day of constant distraction, most people cringe at the prospect of spending a significant amount of time alone.
A study published in Science indicated that despite feeling alone online, people rarely feel lonely. Some people dislike being alone so much that they would rather be given a moderate electric shock than be cut off from all contact with other people and sensory input.
However, if you give isolation a chance, you might discover that your aversion to loneliness is preventing you from dealing with difficulties or having discussions with yourself that you’ve been putting off. Perhaps now is the moment to work through your fears of intimacy, your propensity to bottle up your anger, or your self-esteem difficulties.
3. Let Boredom Guide You
Although it’s common to whine about being bored when forced to spend time alone, boredom can really be a catalyst for innovation.
Infinite opportunities to stretch your imagination and find satisfying outlets for your creativity. It doesn’t need to be visual or performing arts. Caring for a garden is an artistic endeavour. Learning a new language is an accomplishment, as is constructing a bookshelf. The best results can be achieved by focusing on something that truly interests you.
As expected, originality also serves us well in our interpersonal relationships:
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Fixing things. Taking a creative approach to resolving a disagreement might be a faster and more satisfying process. Sacrifices and emotional suppression are avoided when one finds a creative solution.
Maintaining a passionate atmosphere. According to studies published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, romantic fervour is ephemeral and requires care and attention. Keeping the spark alive in a relationship is simpler for those who can think outside the box, challenge the status quo, and promote exploration and adventure.
Don’t rush into another disastrous date without first getting to know the real you. You should expect to have a more satisfying and fruitful dating future after going on this voyage of self-discovery.
