If you don’t learn to control your anger, you can wind up saying or doing things you’ll come to regret, including losing your temper with your loved ones or coworkers, sending irrational emails, neglecting your health, or even resorting to physical violence. However, not every case of fury is so severe. Instead of taking it out on the world, your anger may cause you to dwell on unpleasant memories, become irritable in traffic, or complain about your job.
Managing rage doesn’t entail suppressing all negative emotions. Instead, it entails developing skills for identifying anger, managing it, and expressing it constructively. Everyone can benefit from learning how to control their anger. There is always potential for growth, even if you already consider yourself to have your anger under control.
Anger Management Strategies
Consistent findings from the research community demonstrate the efficacy of cognitive behavioural therapies for anger management.2 Altering one’s way of thinking and acting is an integral part of these interventions. They assume that there is a chain reaction between your mental processes and your actions. (Anger management therapy also includes the use of cognitive behavioural therapies.)
Your mental and physical actions can either heighten or dull your feelings. As a result, you can alter your mental and behavioural patterns to replace anger with more positive emotions.2 You’ll feel more at ease as your inner fire dies down from lack of fuel.
Identify Triggers
If you find yourself losing your cool frequently, it may be time to examine your triggers. There are several situations that can cause your temper to flare, such as waiting in a long queue, being stuck in traffic, hearing rude remarks, or being very exhausted.
While it’s important to not place blame on others or their actions, knowing what makes you lose your temper might help you take preventative measures.
Consider Whether Your Anger Is Helpful or Unhelpful
Ask yourself if your anger is a friend or foe before you take drastic measures to calm down. Anger can be a useful emotion if you’re seeing a violation of someone else’s rights or if you’re in a dangerous position.
Instead of trying to alter how you feel, you may try altering the circumstances. Anger might be a warning indication that something else in your life, such as a poisonous friendship or an emotionally abusive relationship, needs to shift.
Recognize Your Warning Signs
Anger can come on strong and unexpectedly for some people. Possible rapid escalation from serenity to rage. However, there are probably indicators that your anger is rising. If you are aware of these triggers, you can take steps to avoid escalating your anger.
Consider the physical symptoms that alert you to impending anger. It’s possible that your face gets hot and your heart speeds up. Maybe you start to tense up and your hands become fists. There could even be a shift in your mental faculties. The thought process may speed up, or you may start “seeing red.”
Step Away From the Triggering Situation
Anger will only increase if you persist in trying to win an argument or staying in a toxic relationship. Getting away from the source of your anger is a tried and true method.
Talk Through Your Feelings
Talking to someone who can help you relax about a problem or share your feelings might be beneficial. It’s worth stressing, though, that letting off steam isn’t without risk.
It’s possible that venting your frustrations about your boss, laying out all the reasons why you dislike someone, or ranting about your perceived wrongs may just make the situation worse. It’s a frequent fallacy that expressing anger will make you feel better.
Get in a Quick Workout
Feeling angry is energising. Physical activity, including exercise, is one of the best ways to release pent-up aggression.4 Exercising, whether by going for a brisk walk or hitting the gym, can help you release pent-up stress.
Exercising regularly is another great way to relieve stress. Stress can be reduced through aerobic exercise, which could increase your tolerance for annoyance.4 In addition, physical activity can help you declutter your thoughts. After a long run or a strenuous workout, you may realise that you have a newfound clarity about whatever was bothering you before.
Focus on the Facts
Thinking negatively only makes you feel worse. Ideas such, “I can’t take it,” may cross your mind. Saying things like, “This traffic jam is going to ruin everything,” will just make you more aggravated. Reframe your thoughts if you find yourself dwelling on things that make you angry.
Distract Yourself With a New Activity
Anger is fueled by dwelling on a traumatic event. Say you had a difficult day at work, and you spend the rest of the night thinking about everything that went wrong.
Breathe and Relax
Many techniques for calming down after experiencing rage are available. The trick is to zero in on the one that suits you best. Common methods of stress relief include deep breathing techniques and progressive muscular relaxation.6
The best part is that you can do both of these activities without drawing attention to yourself. If you’re feeling stressed out, you can swiftly and easily let go of your frustrations, whether they’re at work or over a dinner disagreement.
Acknowledge Your Underlying Emotion
Identifying the underlying feelings that are fueling your anger can be helpful. Anger is a defence mechanism that helps you suppress more unpleasant feelings like shame, guilt, and disappointment.
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If someone gives you some unflattering feedback, for instance, you might react angrily because of the shame you feel. If you’re feeling embarrassed, convincing yourself that the other person is evil for criticising you might help. However, recognising underlying feelings can aid in identifying the real issue at hand. After that, you can select what steps to take next.