Aarti
When I was in high school, my dad traveled a lot for work. He frequently disappeared for weeks at a time. It hurt to see him go, and I can only imagine how lonely he felt. I played both baseball and soccer, and he never made it to any of my games.
It never bothered me since I knew he wanted to be there and he had to work to support us. Because I could always count on him being at home whenever I went there. Sometimes after a lengthy vacation he’d return to one of my practices. A pleasant and unexpected turn of events. My dad was a heavy smoker, and my teammates often remarked on the stench of his Tijuana Smalls cigars (not something I endorse). Those in the stands would obliviously announce, “Smells like Mr. Foster is here.”
1. Play physically with him.
Boys, in general, are quite tactile. It’s a major means of communication between the two groups. They also usually exude a great deal of vitality. They prefer roughhousing with dad more than anyone else. Get on the floor with him and start a wrestling match. Engage in some backyard tackle football action. Although you may be in pain, the effect on your son’s sense of being cherished will be well worth it.
2. Give him spontaneous praise.
You shouldn’t hold off on showing your support and gratitude until he has accomplished something specific. Just face him and do it when the time is right. Explain to him why you think so highly of him. Take it both publicly and privately. Show him your confidence by telling him so. Give examples of his manly traits that you find endearing.
3. Talk to him about his favorite subjects.
You can feel awkward when the topic switches to video games, toys, or a specific TV show. But for him, this is the greatest thrill of all time. Like everyone else, we get excited about sharing good news with those we care about when it happens. Something he needs to share with you. Get curious about it. Take advantage of his passion by probing with inquiries. He’ll feel it and never forget it.
4. Involve him in your to-do list.
When we have a lot of errands to run or chores to do around the house, we usually distract the kids with some sort of entertainment. However, they seek our company and friendship. Have him work with you. Inform him that you’re going to require his assistance. He’ll gain confidence and self-assurance from your affirmation. Time spent on the project may be longer, but it will be well worth it.
5. Be affectionate.
You might not be the type to show emotion. If so, you should move past it because it is irrelevant. Daily kisses and hugs are a must. One of the earliest memories I have of my father is the kiss on the cheek he gave me every day. Once again, the way boys bond is by physical contact. When you’re walking together, you can give him a nudge or touch his head. Because he’ll understand what you’re saying, I promise he’ll crack a grin.
