Aarti
Somehow, a minor argument escalated into a big one. It became unmanageable as the intensity kept climbing. A vicious struggle has ensued, and you have both fired your shots. You find yourself standing in the kitchen as she has fled to her bedroom, leaving you to face the devastation and smoke. It’s incredible how isolating being at home can seem. The pain is constant and relentless until it’s gone, but your whole being begs you not to go. Your only want is to curl up on the couch with a pillow and blanket. Doing it is the simplest part. The simplest option isn’t necessarily the best, especially when it comes to marriage.
We males have been socialized to believe that success comes first. Typically, when we win, it’s because we force someone to do what we want them to or because we score more points than they do. Achieving more intimacy with one’s partner is the ultimate goal of every married couple. What this signifies is that our spouses are made to feel safe, cared for, heard, and appreciated. Acquire your wife’s affection, not a debate. When we were dating our spouses, it was simpler to go to such lengths, but now that we’re married, it’s game over. When times are good, your love for your wife is easy to see, but when times are tough, your love for her becomes clear. It will be disastrous for everyone involved if you both go to sleep without expressing regret, therefore you should talk to her right away.
1. Focus on the Relationship.
When it comes to relationships, being right is more essential than being right in a disagreement. Never lose sight of the end objective. Show your caring for each other more than you show your side of the argument; this doesn’t imply you can’t disagree.
2. Apologize First.
“The stronger person always apologizes first,” was a common saying of a mentor and friend. Words cannot express how much strength is required to apologize because it is the most difficult thing to do.
3. 90-10 Rule.
Hall of Fame NFL player Steve Largent taught me this rule. A dispute can only be started by two people. Regardless of your desire to acknowledge it or not, you have undoubtedly done something wrong during the debate. Perhaps they’re 90% incorrect and you’re 10% incorrect. Be the first to own up to your 10% before you expect someone else to do the same for 90% of the time.
4. Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Your Anger.
Giving anger a place to remain at night greatly increases the likelihood that it will develop into bitterness. It may be best to address the issue in the morning, but dealing with rage should be done immediately. Put down your weapons and make amends.
5. Pray for the Person.
When you pray, you put yourself in a better mental state. Praying this way leaves room for God to bless the other person with understanding, serenity, and compassion.
