Aarti
q1
At the recent Iron Sharpens Iron Men’s Conference in Chattanooga, Tennessee, I was given the opportunity to deliver a talk entitled “Man’s Greatest Challenge.” I once told a group of approximately 500 men that the hardest thing about being a man is having to make that choice every day.
I think every guy, without exception, has a choice among five alternatives. I know, because regrettably, I’ve been all five types. And the kind of spouse, father, and leader he is depends on the kind of man he is. So what are those five categories of men, and which one are you?
1. The Whiner:
This is the guy who wakes up most days and deliberately lets his history hold him back. Because he is so focused on the past, he has a hard time focusing on the future. He attributes his current difficulties to his old issues. Consequently, he develops into what I call a “Why Baby.” He probes with inquiries like:
- What was the reason for that?
- That didn’t happen to me; why not?
- Why him/her/them instead of me?
2. The Worrier:
This is a man who doesn’t let his past hold him back, but who lives in perpetual dread of what is ahead. He is hesitant to take the next step. Unlike the Whiner, however, the Worrier isn’t concerned with “Why?” but rather “What if?”
- What if this actually occurs?
- If it occurs, then what?
- What if it doesn’t work out like this?
3. The Waiter:
This is the man who can’t make up his mind right now. He isn’t happy with his current situation and would like to see some adjustments made, although he is resistant to doing so. He believes that a divine intervention is necessary to improve his position. Rather than working for what he wants, he anticipates receiving it with little to no effort on his side.
For instance, he wants to strengthen his marriage but is unwilling to seek professional help. He has decided to stop viewing pornographic material but refuses to join a help group. He hopes for a closer bond with his kids but is unwilling to increase his time spent with them.
4. The Wounded:
Here we have the lonesome, lonely, and silently suffering man. He hasn’t gotten over his past pain, he has little control over his current situation, and he has no faith in his future. Stuck in feelings of remorse and embarrassment, he has trouble opening up to others about it. Because of his negative emotions, he has trouble trusting in anything or anybody, including God.
5. The Warrior:
This is the man who doesn’t whine about his past, he doesn’t worry about the future, he’s not waiting to be rescued from his present predicament, and he’s not terrified of getting hurt again because he’s more concerned about leaving a legacy. He’s prepared to risk everything for the sake of his wife, kids, and brothers.
He cares more about who he is than what happened to him, where he’s going than where he’s been, and what he leaves behind than what he gave up. A fighter to his core, he would rather die from a spear to the chest than the back. No surrender, no retreat is his credo.32
