I didn’t like our new city at all when I was eleven and my family moved there. I was not fond of our new residence, my new school, or my new classmates. I hated going to school every day because I wanted to be home so badly. I would often call in ill on purpose so I could avoid school. My father eventually met me in the school nurse’s office after several such days. He acknowledged the difficulty and encouraged me to do it anyhow. I realized that I wasn’t fighting this battle alone. Just being in his company helped me shift my perspective.
1. He needs you to love his mother.
Loving your wife or your son’s mother is a great example of how you want your kid to treat his own mother, sisters, and other women he encounters in his life.
This will lay the groundwork for the friendships and romantic partnerships he experiences in the future. Even if you and his mother have a strained relationship because of your divorce, you should always treat her with dignity and respect.
2. He needs to see you fail, not just succeed.
The best teacher is failure. Learning from the mistakes of others is the most effective method. You may show your son that it’s alright to make errors and that they can be great teachers by experiencing failure yourself and then dealing with it in a healthy way. A young man who isn’t scared to make blunders will mature into a man who is ready to take on and succeed at the toughest tasks.
4. He needs you to be present.
It’s possible you’ll feel pressure from more than one source as you try to satisfy everyone you’re responsible for. He relies on you to be involved in every aspect of his life, including school and friendships. Some portions are not designed for mom just, or for his buddies exclusively. Having you there will provide him with the confidence he needs.
5. He needs your love regardless of his choices.
You might be the biggest sports fan in the world who doesn’t live in Bristol, Connecticut, where ESPN is headquartered. And it’s possible your kid wouldn’t even try to kick a ball if you stuck it to his toe. Your son deserves your love and acceptance no matter what he decides to do with his life. Even when they are poor decisions. Your care and support will pave the way for greater mutual understanding and affection between you. Furthermore, it will boost his confidence.
6. He needs you to affirm him.
Say it with me, “I love you, son.” You’ve done me proud, son. “You blow me away, son.” I have faith in you, son. “That was a brilliant move!” To put it another way: “You are a hard worker.” You made a mistake, but I have faith in your ability to recover. Your son requires your positive reinforcement. Tell him how much you appreciate having him as a son.
7. He needs you to discipline him in love.
Disciplining your son teaches him limits and responsibility. Like you did when you were young and like you do now, he will inevitably make some blunders. But he also has to learn that there are repercussions for his behavior. Lovingly correcting his behavior will help him learn from his mistakes. This will help him develop the mental capacity to carefully consider the consequences of his current and future actions.
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