Aarti
A toxic relationship is one in which one or both partners consistently make you feel unsafe, unloved, devalued, or attacked. When your mental, emotional, or physical health is jeopardized because of a relationship, it is poisonous.
Generally speaking, a relationship can become toxic if it consistently brings you down instead of up. Any setting, from the playground to the boardroom to the bedroom, is potentially conducive to the development of a toxic relationship. Toxic familial ties are a real possibility.
Individuals with preexisting mental health conditions, such as bipolar disorder, significant depression, or simply depressed tendencies, may be more vulnerable to the damaging effects of being in a toxic relationship.
Signs of a Toxic Relationship
You alone know whether or not the relationship’s drawbacks exceed its benefits. However, if the other person’s words, actions, or inactions pose a constant threat to your safety, the two of you are probably in a toxic relationship.
Abuse of any kind, whether verbal or physical, is a clear sign of a poisonous relationship. However, there are additional indicators of a toxic relationship that are more difficult to spot:
- When you give more than you receive, you can’t help but feel depleted.
- You have a recurring sense of being disrespected or of having your demands ignored.
- Your sense of self-worth gradually declines.
- You may feel alone, unheard, devalued, or even attacked.
- After spending time with the other person, you are left feeling down, furious, or exhausted.
- You two are terrible for each other. For example, your competitive friend brings out a spite-based competitive streak that is not enjoyable for you.
- You aren’t quite yourself while you’re with that person. For instance, they make you more prone to talk or seem to bring out a cruel streak in you.
- To avoid being a target of this person’s venom, you feel as though you must tread carefully on eggshells at all times.
- You put in a lot of effort and energy into attempting to make them feel better.
- It’s always your fault. They’ll make you feel like you’re at responsibility for mistakes you originally attributed to them.
Toxic vs. Abusive Relationships
All abusive relationships can be termed toxic, but not all toxic relationships are abusive.
A lack of respect and boundary violations are common in toxic relationships. In certain cases, the individual may not even be aware that they are engaging in such conduct.
But if such actions are repeatedly taken with the other person’s damage in mind, the relationship may be abusive.
Abuse can take various forms—such as psychological, emotional, and physical abuse. The pattern of abuse often repeated in abusive relationships. For instance, the stages of the abuse cycle typically include
Toxic vs. Healthy Behavior
Examining the patterns of interaction between partners might help you figure out whether or not yours is a toxic one.
To put it another way, if one or both of you are always putting yourself first, complaining, and being disrespectful, you can be poisoning the relationship. It’s possible that there are only a few problems that cause toxicity if you’re generally positive, caring, and polite
Types of Toxic Relationships
Toxic relationships are not just found in romantic partnerships. They occur in households, in the workplace, and among friends, and if the toxicity isn’t addressed, they can cause a great deal of distress.
When there are negative behaviors:
When inappropriate actions are taken: The persistent grumbling, disparaging comments, and general negativity of a few individuals can poison any given setting. Perfectionism, intense competition, and chronic dishonesty are also indicators of a toxic personality. It’s also possible for someone’s fears to bring out their worst behavior.
When one (or both) people lack self-awareness:
In a situation where neither party has adequate self-awareness: It’s not uncommon for someone to cause harm without realizing it. They might not know how to have more productive conversations either. They probably can’t read social cues well enough to realize when they’re making others feel frustrated, criticized, or ignored.
When a person is abusive:
Abusive behavior involves: Abusive behavior occurs when someone continually causes you harm with the goal to do so. Negative treatment from others, whether verbal or violent, is never acceptable.
Narcissists and Sociopaths
Some people, especially narcissists and sociopaths, get their energy from the praise and adoration of others. Narcissists always try to one-up others and make them feel “less-than” in an effort to feel superior to them.
If you brag about an accomplishment, they may try to tear you down or attack you in subtle ways. They might also make you wonder if they’ll be pleasant to you now or tomorrow. Alternatively, they may be chronic gaslighters.
Narcissists have an infamously hard time accepting blame because they firmly believe they are perfect. In fact, they feel threatened when they recognize flaws in themselves.
Co-Workers
Consider coming up with a plausible explanation to have your desk relocated if the issue is a close colleague. Use expressions such, “I’m right under an air vent that’s bothering me” or “I could get more work done if I wasn’t right by the printer.”
If someone comes to you with a complaint, you should politely direct them to a supervisor and get back to work. This may need to be said multiple times before they catch the message.
Family and Friends
It’s more complicated when the toxic individual is a loved one or close friend because there may be no simple way to cut ties with them.
It may be enough to simply spend less time with a severely poisonous friend. If you’re concerned about upsetting them, spreading out your visit reductions across a few months will make it less visible (but they still might).
If the toxic person is a loved one or close friend, you may be able to persuade them to seek counseling for the underlying problem that’s driving their behavior.
Effects of Toxic Relationships
The ability to practice self-care may suffer if you are in a toxic relationship. If you’re continuously dealing with a chaotic or poisonous person or relationship, you may find yourself unable to maintain your usual schedule, including personal hygiene, exercise, and hobbies. Over time, such sacrifice can take its toll on one’s body and mind.
Coping With Toxic Relationships
Even though it’s impossible to completely avoid toxic relationships, especially with family and coworkers, they can be mitigated via the use of healthy boundaries, self-care, and awareness.
ALSO READ: How to End a Friendship
You may want to work on your relationship and alter the dynamic if you find yourself in a toxic one where you and your partner bring out the worst in one another (or fail to bring out the best).
