Aarti
Barriers exist in the marriages of many people. Their partner is unable to get close to them because of these emotional barriers. They are good at concealing the unattractive and guarding the secrets. A sense of safety and security is created by walls.
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However, walls may cause significant harm to relationships. You can’t have a profound love experience if you have emotional boundaries up. They prevent you from going deeper and more acquainted with each other emotionally, as spouses should. They have a devastating effect on marital happiness.
1. Figure out why the walls are there.
When did you decide that you needed special treatment? Is your partner a true enemy, or are you just afraid to let your guard down around them?
There are several reasons why people build walls. Abuse, betrayal, and desertion can leave deep scars in a person’s psyche. They rely on the barriers to keep them safe from reliving that trauma.
Perhaps you have something to conceal. Perhaps you’re afraid that if people saw the real you, they wouldn’t like what they’d find. Try to get to the bottom of why you think these walls are necessary. This is the initial phase in dismantling them.
2. Make the relationship feel safe.
You should start working on making the wall more secure when you’ve determined whether or not problems in your marriage are to blame. Many married couples could benefit from training in open dialogue and constructive conflict resolution. Ten strategies for fighting fairly in a relationship are provided below. It’s easier for a couple to relax their guard when they’re working on these problems together.
3. Let the wall down a little at a time to build trust.
You shouldn’t go around smashing your furniture with a sledgehammer. It would be more tolerable to take down the wall a few bricks at a time. Sharing even small amounts of information might make you feel less vulnerable and build trust in the environment so that you can later share more.
4. Experience the intimacy of having your spouse behind the walls.
In a happy marriage, only one partner is allowed to see behind the curtains. I express this to my clients as feeling emotionally naked. It’s not easy to get used to at first, but the closeness that develops between husband and wife is something that no other couple should experience. It’s knowing someone intimately and having them know you, all while continuing to love you. Stop feeling lonely in a committed relationship.
It’s time for wives to stop putting up barriers and start talking openly with their spouses. A fantastic bond may be waiting for you on the other side.
